well heres something i’ve been thinking about for the past couple of days… weeks… well years, especially when i came in to Sikhi… its one of the things that drew me to Sikhi… and it was something Akaali Jathedhar Bhai Sahib Sukha Singh Nihang ji, spoke about in his Inspiration to the Panth Katha. its the treatment of women with in Sikhi.
Some of us have heard this shabad from Maharaj, within Asa Di Vaar.
Now i may be biased because i was raised by my punjabi mother, but its a weird thing. Its kind of a sad thing to admit but most of the punjabi males, (sikh, hindu, and muslim) i’ve come across, have had raised their hand against their wives. Now i know i’m putting my self in hot water once again, but anyways…
So now i dont even know how to say this because its really bad and i can’t even stomach the thought of it. or i can not even write it, with out offending everyone who reads this. So i’ll say it anyway, so one of the reasons why our sisters are leaving the panth and marrying with other faiths is simple, they do not want to get beat by their husbands. Believe me because growing up in that type of household, definitely traumatizes childrens’ minds. Then when the child grows up they would think most punjabi male suitors would probably beat them or not respect them. Or even allow them to flourish with in their own divinity.
another thing is that Alot of punjabis wonder, how come 3HO sikhs don’t interact that often with the punjabi counterpart. in the sense of marriage, why aren’t there any mixed punjabi and american sikh couples…. its rather simple in the past , during the late 70s and early 90s alot 3ho Bhen jis actually married alot of Punjabi males, what wound up happening was simple Majority of the punjabi males beat their wives, so then soon after all of the marriages ended in divorce. Then word spread around 3HO and warned them to Stay away from punjabi men, inlieu of getting caught in an abusive relationship.
Its also really weird with in punjabi culture that if a woman is seen as divorced, then its socially unfit and that she’s bad or evil. Also with in sangat she is viewed as a bad person, so in most of these cases of abusive relationships, the wife is stuck in this horrible marriage with an abusive relationship. Her parents usually don’t speak up and tell her to just deal with. But when she decides to leave the union, she gets labeled as the bad person. and her husband says “Oh she deserved it because she wasn’t listening to me, or she spoke up to me, she wasn’t being an obedient wife”…
when will realize that we have to treat our women properly and respect them for when we raise our hand against our bhena, we are raising a hand against our own divinity. also when you look at Guru Gobind Singh Ji’s writings, he speaks about shakti and the importance of female energy. Maharaj also said never to raise your hand against your wife, she’s your equal not your subordinate.
Sangat ji how can this keep on happening in our panth, women are not our shoes, the hell where did this happen, considering the UN Declaration of Human rights, US Declaration of Independence and the US Constitution, these basic human rights and values and social justice, is what the Sikh Gurus taught and practiced, as the Jyot passed from Guru Nanak Dev JI to Guru Angad Ji to Guru Amar Das Ji to Guru Ram Daas Ji to Guru Arjan Dev Ji to Guru Hargobind Ji to Guru Har Rai to Guru Harkrishan Ji to Guru Tegh Bhadhur ji to Guru Gobind Singh Ji then finally to Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. it took over 200 years to teach and practice these teachings of divinity and social justice…
its sad other nations have picked up on this, but now somehow we have forgotten, its so funny how these saaakis of the great valour of great gursikhs such as Jassa Singh Ahluwalia, who rescued the enslaved women of India, who were going to get sold off to Arab princes and all over afghanistan. yet when it comes to our own sisters and mothers and daughters…. we just don’t give them that simple honor or respect.
After morning sadhana i have feel as if i have to explain my rational of the comparison of punjabi sikhs to 3ho, i am not trying to create a division with in the panth, i’m just simply stating that this is one, that in the eyes of the west and the rest of the world Punjabis look like a bunch of barbaric peoples. ie other things such as Honour Killings, like this special which as aired upon National TV by msnbc how can we even dream of being as a united qaum, if we can’t even respect our better half…. Khalsa ji we really have to make an effort, and i pray to Guru Ji Maharaj that those of our Mothers, Sisters, Daughters and Grandmothers that may be stuck in this situation, may that have the strength of surviving and staying strong. Also Khalsa Ji I’m I know some of you may think oh how can you point this think out with in Punjabi Culture… its in every culture, its the result of the diaspora of punjab… there is still no excuse!!! this should not exist with in Sikhi period. granted this may occur with in punjabi culture, there are other things too which i dont get, but that is a whole different type of matter